I mean to say… And here we are, right here, in this moment, surveying everything past and future.
To be less cryptic, times have been a bit mad around here for the last little while. The whole world feels kind of like that right now, doesn’t it? With federal elections here upon which so much uncertainty hinges, and the confusuon of Brexit bringing home to the world that the ground is shaky, along with the looming spectre of Trump-mania in the US, one could be forgiven for being nervous.
Closer to home, we had our little boy, Boodi in hospital for three nights after being admitted at 3AM (it was a crazy busy night in Geelong hospital, and Lady’s birthday to boot.
Then, four hours after being discharged he tripped and landed on the edge of a dining room chair, splitting his eyebrow open, so it was back to Emergency for us. Heartbreaking to take him back! He cried and cried, but he were seen quickly and sent home, mercifully. You could not wipe the smile off Boodi’s face for days! The whole episode, backed up by Lady deciding not to go to sleep until 11:30PM each night for a week afterwards, culminated in making me feel unsafe, as though anything might happen that we might not recover from. Life can be scary. Scary things have been happening to other people that I love, and they continue to trouble the days of friends and family.
The afternoon that Boodi got out of hospital, in between that and us rushing back, I discovered that I had received an offer for the Uni course that I had applied for with what I imagined was only the slimmest chance of success. The course that I wanted to do when I left school many years ago, a Bachelor of Arts in Professional and Creative Writing! I had been checking the application portal and steeling myself for the initial disappointment and then being ready to make the necessary preparations to go the long and clunky way around to gaining entry.
Instead I begin in less than 2 weeks and I am reading my first text, which turns out to be one of my favourite books, The God of Small things by Arundhati Roy. I am only studying part-time and online, so I think that I should be ok with managing the study, and I honestly can’t wait to start doing the work. I am passionate about the things that I can achieve. I know the world so much better than I did the last two times that I attempted a university degree, when I was 20 and 22. I know my world.
You never know what is waiting around the corner. That can be as scary as hell, that can be lying awake all night wondering what would happen to you all if your husband lost his job, or one of us became seriously ill, to wonderful, all your dreams beginning to come true. I always used to think, after seeing my father and brother die that the unimaginable is not impossible, and that that goes both ways. It pays to remember that. It pays to live a little in the moment, a little in the past, a little in the future. It’s worth remembering that the bad things may never happen and that you will find a way to get through it even if it does. Remember that you are strong enough. remember that you are enough and your life is enough, right here, where we are..
Water your love. Nourish your happiness today. Sending my love to those people who know who they are reading this…
Linking up with Essentially Jess and #IBOT