There is an informative piece of writing that has been doing the rounds of the Internet over the past few months called Drowning Doesn’t Look Like Drowning It is aimed at the parents of children, as a kind of flag, not unlike those set up on beaches, to let them know that the appearance of drowning is actually quite unlike what you have been led to expect by dramatic representations on film or television. According to the article, drowning is a deceptively quiet affair that can take place before your eyes without your having any idea of what is going on, unless you can recognise the five signs of what is called the Instinctive Drowning Response, as well as a list of other signs to look out for.
Although the article that I have linked to was first published in 2010, it so happens that the first that I had ever seen or heard of it was this year, the morning after I posted the final part of Wide Brown Land which included my account of the day twenty years ago that I witnessed the drowning deaths of my father and older brother. It was a hugely emotional intake of breath to have published that piece of writing, and when I saw the title of the article on facebook the next day, of course I clicked on the link. What I read there made me cry, just a little, not a great heaving of tears, but simply some small gasping tears of incongruous relief, because there, after twenty years, were the answers to some of the mysteries of what I witnessed that long ago day.
Does drowning look like drowning? In the case of Dad and Grant, yes, my cousin and I could certainly see that they were “in trouble” in the water. The turbulent brown water below the drop bar where they died was violent: Roiling and churning. Though I gave a nervous laugh at the beginning, we could not fail to see that the two men were struggling. We never imagined that they were actually in the process of drowning, at the time. We tried to rescue them, but our efforts were in vain. In short minutes, my father and brother slipped below the surface of the water for the last time. The following is a passage from my account in Wide Brown Land:
All throughout, neither my father nor Grant ever uttered any cry for help that I heard. When the rope was finally being tossed towards them they never heeded our cries to them. Their eyes were wide open, but blank of expression; no terror or desperation illuminated them. Their mouths were open as well, as the force of the water took them down and then spat them back up, over and again.
These characteristics were the mysteries, the things that I could never fathom, until the day that I read Drowning Does Not Look Like Drowning. I have included the text of the five Instinctive Drowning Responses and other signs in brackets below the excerpts from my observations from Wide Brown Land.
1. All throughout, neither my father nor Grant ever uttered any cry for help that I heard. (1. Except in rare circumstances, drowning people are physiologically unable to call out for help. The respiratory system was designed for breathing. Speech is the secondary or overlaid function. Breathing must be fulfilled, before speech occurs.)
2. When the rope was finally being tossed toward them they never heeded our cries to them (4. Throughout the Instinctive Drowning Response, drowning people cannot voluntarily control their arm movements. Physiologically, drowning people who are struggling on the surface of the water cannot stop drowning and perform voluntary movements such as waving for help, moving toward a rescuer, or reaching out for a piece of rescue equipment.)
3. Their eyes were wide open, but blank of expression; no terror or desperation illuminated them. (From ‘Other signs of drowning when persons are in the water’ : Eyes glassy and empty, unable to focus).
4. Their mouths were open as well. (Also from ‘Other signs’, as above: Head tilted back with mouth open).
5. as the force of the water took them down and then spat them back up, over and again (5. From beginning to end of the Instinctive Drowning Response people’s bodies remain upright in the water, with no evidence of a supporting kick. Unless rescued by a trained lifeguard, these drowning people can only struggle on the surface of the water from 20 to 60 seconds before submersion occurs.).
I was haunted for such a long time by the mysteries of why they never cried for help, or tried to grab the rope that we threw, or looked at us, and why they seemed like rag dolls in the water. All of these things and more, and the answer was so clear that you will surely wonder why it never occurred to me: the reason for all of those things was simply that they were drowning. In dying, their bodies adhered to instinct, conforming to a terrible formula, unknown to me and to them too.
Never having expected to learn the answers to these questions, the knowledge came as a bittersweet kind of relief. I still emit those little gasping cries when I read the article, but I am glad that the words are out there for other reasons too, and that is that I can tell you that the points covered therein are absolutely accurate, so read them, remember them and keep a watch on your loved ones in the water.
I hope that you never need to recognise the signs.
The night you died, I felt your eardrums crack,
And the short agony, the longer dream,
The Nothing that was neither long nor short;
But I was bound, and could not go that way,
But I was blind, and could not feel your hand
(From Kenneth Slessor’s poem Five Bells)
Linking up with #IBOT over at Essentially Jess today.
It’s kind of annoying that you can’t see the hyperlinks on the Drowning Doesn’t Look Like Drowning article, or the Wide Brown Land link, or even on the IBOT, but they are there, so click away (hopefully it’s just my iPad) -Dani x
Wow – I, thankfully, have never experienced drowning.
This post is such an eye opener for me, and I’m so glad you have written about your own experience and after-thoughts. So many people can learn from this. Thank you.
Many thanks for reading, Melissa.
I can’t even imagine.
Thank you so much for sharing you brave story and this information, that will help others xxx
Thanks for reading Rebecca, I hope that it will help x
I cannot begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you to write this. Thank you for sharing it so that someone else may be spared what you went through.
Sending love, hugs and positive energy your way !
Me
Thank you so much for reading x
What a powerful story you have. Thank you for sharing xx
Thank you. It is often an unfortunate thing to have a powerful story, but it is hopefully good to be able to impart a warning to others. X
I don’t know what to say. Thank you for sharing just doesn’t seem right but I am glad that you have shared and I that I read it. Leaving some fairy wishes and butterfly kisses
Thanks for stopping by Rhianna. It is easy enough to share after so long, and I am glad that the article that I linked to is there as a resource to impart a warning that most people are unaware of. And thank you, fairy wishes and butterfly kisses never go astray x
My heart goes out to you Dani, such a powerful and hard post for you to write.
In 2007 my friend Kat’s little daughter Hannah drowned in their backyard pool. In early 2008 Kat and her hubby Andy founded Hannahs Foundation after discovering the lack of services available to them – the family – dealing with a death through drowning. It breaks my heart every time I read somebody’s story, knowing that they too weren’t able to have so many questions answered, just like Kat.
I’m so sorry Dani that you have dealt with unanswered questions for so long. My heart breaks for you.
Please know that your story is one that for all it’s sadness, is one that will educate people. And education about drowning is something that needs to get out there.
MC x
#teamIBOT
I am so sorry to read about your friends little girl, it is so tragic. Thank you for telling me about the foundation that they formed, I will contact them and see if they have read the Mario Vittone piece, or if there is anything that I can do to offer assistance. Xx
Thank you for sharing this Dani. I read your recount before . I won’t forgot.
Thank you so much for taking the time out to read some more Trish, I know that it’s not the nicest thing to read about x
I’m a little bit speechless to be honest. I never knew drowning was like that. I thought it was like they show it in the movies.
I’m so sorry you had to love through this, but thank you for sharing xxx
Hi Jess, I’m so glad that you stopped by and read this then. There is a line that I was thinking of from a Pablo Neruda poem http://litverve.tumblr.com/post/41752068906/from-so-much-loving-and-journeying-books-emerge that says (of words, if they don’t contain certain elements) ‘they are no use as a shield or a bell’, and that I hoped that writing about this experience could act in some way as that shield or bell, to protect and warn xx
Wow – what a powerful post. I had seen the article on drowning doesn’t look like drowning before and had spoken to a few of my friends about it and they were shocked. Your post gives that article a whole new level of meaning for me – thanks so much for sharing. Shelley AKA Money Mummy
Oh wow, what a horrible thing for you to go through. Like you I thought that a person drowning would be more thrashing and calling out.
Beautiful, powerful, memorable. Thanks for sharing such an intensely personal experience so that we are better informed as a result. x
I’ve shared this, because it’s important to know. I can’t imagine what it would have been like for you, but I am grateful that you have shared this.
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to read your tragic story. Thank you for sharing such important information with us.